Tuesday, 9 October 2007

Phwish, peeyoo!


Just a quickie tonight. I've just been shopping and was forced into agreeing to take my 10 year old son to 'toys r us' to buy Ben 10 action figures. Being an affable and at times malleable little chap, we negotiated that I would, on this occasion, pay for one of the toys if he payed for the other one and also did the washing up, wiped down the kitchen tops, and swept the floor. 15 minutes easy work for £4 worth of toy. I don't get paid that much!! Though I have to say, if my bank balance read 1234.47 tiddlywinks I'd struggle at most retail outlets not to mention the boozer.

He did the work, we duly hit the road on the lookout for bits of shaped coloured plastic. It's his latest obsession, replacing the remarkably long lived Dr. Who bits of shaped coloured plastic. Before them it was Lord of the Rings, Pirates of the Caribbean. The list is seemedly endless.

However, he gets great mileage out of these things and so keeps himself to himself playing all over the place. Whatever happened to conkers? And those hoops for rolling along the lane with a stick that would see road calamity in the modern era?

He keeps himself to himself in all aspects except one. He can't stop making all the dialogue for these guys. His Dalek impersonation is reaching folklore proportions at school I imagine. Fair enough, you can't build a plot with no dialogue terribly easily. And believe me, there is one hell of a plot going on in his multi-faceted mind of cartoonesque mayhem. And alongside the dialogue, he does all the onomatapoeic movement and action noises too. Phwish! is his all time favourite. Peeyoo! runs a reasonable second place. Pbbwwuurggh! for explosions and so on until my throat would hurt. His goes on from dawn 'til dusk on some days.

Tonight, I said he could get the thingies out of the packet in the car. As soon as the noise of crunching packaging stopped, the action began, opening with, of course, Phwish as the latest alien jettisons onto the arena of good verses evil to which it has been assigned. I fought back the tears of mirth as I drove down to a supermarket to shop for far less exciting things. I made him leave the toys in the car. He really is an absolute pest with them supermarkets. Intergalactic hostilities among the cornflakes threatening collateral damage across aisle 23, the jam section. A sticky conflict that could turn out to be, I can tell you.

Still, it's all in his head. He never displays any violence anywhere real, which is a blessing. Like him really, the greatest blessing I ever had bestowed upon me, my wacky, weird baby.

Now the wacky weird baby's oddball dad must go, off to make an important phone call. Wish me luck. Bye.

PHWISSSHHH!

18 comments:

Magdalene said...

Aaah.. the sleeping, toilet paper bedded people! Yep, as weird as Daddy that's for sure.

Thesaurus Rex said...

And almost as tall. Thanx 4 the photo, it completes the story rather well.

Raelha said...

Hurray for a child with a decent imagination! Most of the ten-year-olds I teach would just rather sit in front of the TV all day - and you never get them to agree to all that cleaning. You would've had to have bought them both toys and eveything else they fancied after a tour of Toys r us.

Thesaurus Rex said...

Oh he watches tv for too long as well some days. He's a good lad compared to most. I fight a losing battle re toys because of advertising on tv anyway. People who extract a living by filling kids heads with all that junk should go home and stay there. They're helping poison the planet as well as young minds. Rant rant. Always happens after a tough day at work.

Magdalene said...

You should probably just put your feet up in front of the TV then, tonight ;-)

Thesaurus Rex said...

I'd rather not. Swift pint, now back to catch up on my adoring public and then to bed with a rather funny book.

Ju's little sister said...

oooh, what's the book?

Good on you though, for teaching that good work can earn rewards, rather than asking and asking and asking earns whatever the child wants...

Raelha said...

You're not doing too badly when £4 worth of toy can keep him happy, especially on the run up to Xmas - I presume the vile TV Ad camapaigns are in full swing over there now. They've probably started over here too, but I don't have a TV and so can remain in a state of blissful ignorance.

Thesaurus Rex said...

JLS; The Rotters Club. A beaytiful woman lent it to me. Lucky me on 2 counts.
Realha; Good for you! One day I may take the plunge and get rid of the tv. Sometimes I'd miss the footy and cricket though, even if I don't watch it every time it's on. Down to maybe a couple of hours a week now, none some weeks, which is a great step forward for somebody who has been a terrible tv addict in the past. The ads have indeed started and they are just as nauseating as ever.

Thesaurus Rex said...

Er....beautiful, noy beaytiful. Although there is some baying on occasion. Full moons and stuff.

Magdalene said...

I went for a blissful couple of years without a tv when my kids were small. Even after reinstalling one I was a total control freak about the damn thing. It was great, we read and played games instead and they developed interesting minds as a result. Bless the little freaks.

Martin Stickland said...

Thanks for the funny comments... tee hee!

Sounds just like my boy Toby with all these ation figures.

Can you remember the old small cartoon war books when a baddy would die and he would scream "Agheeeeeeeeeeee!"
I must remember to try this on my death bed, just before I pop off I will gather my family close to me and then scream "Agheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" (the extra 'E's' for extra effect)

M

lorenzothellama said...

Is it me, or is it the gin? I don't understand a thing you are talking about.

Lorenzo.

Thesaurus Rex said...

Well nobody else seems too confused, Lorro. We can all safely assume therefore, that it is definitely the 'Mother's Ruin'
Thanx 4 popping over, is it time off for good behavior?

lorenzothellama said...

There was no conflict of interest when I voted for Magdalene. The true conflict comes when it's a choice between magdalene, thesaurus, maalie, raelha, ju's little sister and of course lorenzo t. llama.

The Mrs Doyle equivalent is a certain Mrs Yeshe.

L.

lorenzothellama said...

I've just voted for you on the new wordimperfect poll and when I pressed 'vote' it said I had already voted today! Lying Bastards.
Lorenzo.

Thesaurus Rex said...

Thanx very much, Lorro. Knew you would try at least. If there is some sort of computer glitch, do you suppose they're using Martin's computer?

lorenzothellama said...

I don't believe Martin has a computor at all. I think we are all a figment of his imagination.
Lorenzo.