Tuesday, 15 December 2009


I'll write this all in large type for the hard of hearing.

Here is something utterly stupid I have learnt to do whilst I have been away from the blogosphere. It's not all I've been doing. There has been work, decorating, cricket, drinking tea, visiting The B.F.G. and watching the days get shorter and shorter and shorter.

Soon I will be watching the days get longer and longer again. There is a possibility many more works of depth and integrity may ensue in time, but for now, all you lovely people will have to put up with this one addition to the wonderful world of utterly ridiculous 'art'.

Please enjoy.

I apologise for my lack of posting, especially about the shed as some of you will have burst with the suspense by now, of that I am sure.

I also apologise for not continuing to comment on your own efforts blogging about all manner of interests, but I lost all enthusiasm for doing so and hope to be back to my facetious and sardonic japes forthwith.

Until then good fellows, adieu and be good at least till Santa stuffs your stockings.

Happy Solstice!

Wednesday, 29 July 2009




This photo of the Great City of Antropolis was taken last year when the sun shone. It shone again I'm sure this year, but the rain today got into my ear at a funny angle and appears to have washed my memory bank clean so I can't remember it.

And here is my next door neighbour, the tree. It's performing an astonishing feat of balance here, by balancing millions of tiny pieces of frozen water on top of each other. I don't know how it keeps so still. Probably practises when nobody is looking.

I think also I should show you all that there are lovely places to look at in this Sceptred Isle and that I've been to one or two of them. I went alongside The B.F.G. to the faraway land known locally as Kernow. It has a jagged edge which gets you wet if you stand too close to it. This was the view from the B.&B. Not bad if I may say so myself.

Anyway, Enough of the raiding of my hard drive for inspiration and a few memories. It's time to tuck up in a little bed with a cuppa and start a new and B.F.G. recommended funny book.

Nite Nite.

Friday, 17 July 2009


Reports of my death would have been greatly exaggerated if there had been any.

Sorry about the lack of shed stuff.

It's still stands and doesn't leak.

I broke another finger.

My head aches, not presumably related to a finger snapping incident.

My cricket team hasn't won any games this year.

I have accidentally usurped the captain to regain my rightful place as The Big Cheese.

My son is growing at an alarming rate.

My daughter is a legal adult, but struggles daily with the real implications therein.

I have been a legal adult for 28 years and 2 weeks and I still struggle with the legal, moral and other general implications therein.

I still wish for the extermination of all advertising executives.

I have completed Meta's questionnaire, a life achievement akin to climbing Everest or discovering time travel.

I still have a job.

I still love the B.F.G.

It's still fuckin' rainin' here!

Solstice came and went and I hardly noticed it.

I haven't had an alcoholic drink for 10 days.

Elderflower champagne doesn't count because it's far too weak.

If I ruled the World, every day would be the first day of last week.

I'm so very glad I'm not called Percival.

How much wood can a woodchuck chuck?

I should write to my Australian mate.

My neck hurts.

Cheese can possibly save the world from annihilation.

I'm just trying to find the bridge.

Moffs enjoy the environs surrounding my bathroom light, even they probably know it isn't good for them.

Bob Dylan can't sing.

Is this the eighth wonder of the world?

Thursday, 22 January 2009


This took me back to a much older persons childhood. A gang of Teds hanging around the street in the dark.
I expect they were all just off to listen to some Elvis or comb their D.A. 'Barnets' incessantly whilst trying to chain smoke Chesterfields without removing them from their pursed lips.

Actually, I could be making all that up. They may have been waiting for a bus.

When they got on it, they would probably have hogged the backseat upstairs and tried to dodge their fares, and then when they got off they would have said


to the conductor as they bounced away on their beetlecrushers and winklepickers.

To tell the truth, once I'd plucked up the Dutch Courage, I asked the nicest looking one of them what such a fine upstanding socio-economic sub-group was doing at that time of the evening.

He replied that Paul McCartney was doing a photo shoot for his new album, 'Band on the Run Again' and had asked for a group of hip kids to pose for the cover, and not to forget the spotlight.

Bastard never showed up, did he!

No wonder they look so glum

Wednesday, 21 January 2009


Here is a photo of a tiny little dude.

I dont think at first he was aware of the camera, but once he did notice it,

for the lens!!!
Quite frankly, this particular reproduction is the only offering
which is possible
to put up on a blog without fear of being flagged as leud.

If you see a very small person, male or female about your house or maybe even whilst walking your ferrets, please make sure you dont accept a cheque from one in payment for any goods or services. Very little dudes have aquired almost unimaginable notoriety as con artists and swindlers. They would gull the last stitch from their own favourite Auntie. They can't help it, just second nature. In fact, in some necks of the woods it's rude not to.