Wednesday, 5 December 2007

It's Quiz Time.

Not to be outdone by a certain American gentleman, (you know who you are) I have decide to throw my ring into a hat and write a quiz.

I don't know why, just wasting some of the time I could be using to plan the single handed ascent of Everest I had pencilled in for next wednesday after work.

Still, I expect it would've rained anyhow.

I must point out the 'Rules' before you all go straight to wikipedia.

PLEASE, PLEASE, PRETTY PLEASE, UGLY THREAT PLEASE DO NOT USE WIKIPEDIA OR ANY BOOKS OR OTHER REFERENCE STUFF.

It's not much fun just looking things up. That's just like doing your homework. This is supposed to be a pub quiz type quiz. So I would suggest you get yourself a nice glass of beer, or perhaps meths in some cases, and pretend you're in a boozer. No books to look at, and on this occasion, you are Billy/Betty Nomates. You're on your own, you poor old saddo. Nobody is near enough for you to peep over their shoulder or read their lips as they blurt out the answers to their team-mates.

Besides, there really isn't any point in cheating cos there's only an imaginary prize. However, the greater your imagination, the more you stand to win. But just imagine if you will, how bad you'll feel when all your winnings have been gained not only by imagination, but also by cribbing. You'll only be fooling yourselves. And of course, a certain Mr. Clause will find out and then a certain stocking will be several pounds lighter in a few weeks. There are some dudes over whose eyes there is no wool to be found, and upon whom, there are no flies.


So, I have enabled the comment moderation again for the duration of this post only cos I don't want an email address on the blog for obvious reasons. This means that should anybody actually take part in the quiz of the day, (queeez de jour) they won't spoil it for everybody else unless I'm stupid enough to post their comment. However, if anybody posts a set of answers which are entirely incorrect, I'll post that comment and shame them forever.


Extra points may be awarded to crawlers who tell me I'm just super and all that, but points may be deducted for uber-creepyness.


Hey, I make up 'The Rules', O.K.


I will of course, endeavour to be fair and honest in the marking. Forgive me if any of the answers I give, should we all get that far, are actually incorrect. After all, I'm not the reincarnation of Magnus Sodding Magnusson, (correct)?

Disputes will be settled by a calm rewriting of 'The Rules' and history as we have previously known it.


And so, having made myself utterly clear to all and sundry,

"Let The Games begin!"

A; My dog's got no nose, how does he smell?

B; £ is to 5 as & is to ...what?

C; For what is Valentina Tereshkova most famously known?

D; What year was the R.M.S. Lusitania built and in which year did it sink?

E; Which British 'pop star' bought John Lennon's piano upon which Lennon wrote the song 'Imagine'

F; Which Major League baseball (rounders) star holds the world record for the most home runs ever?

G; On which Beatles album is the song 'Your mother should know'?

H; Who directed the following cult or blockbusting movies.
i) The King of Comedy
ii) 2001 A space Odyssy
iii) Jaws
iv) The 39 steps
v) The Doors
vi)Withnail and I
vii) Alien
viii) Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
ix)Love Story
x)Being John Malcovich

I; Name the five usual passengers of 'The Mystery Machine'

J; Which U.S. state is known as 'The Green Mountain State'

K; Which English county is known as 'The Garden of England'

L1; Who won the F.A. cup in 1936? (cough)

L2; 'If 6 was 9' , who was the drummer?

L.S.D; If it takes three men thirteen days per month to walk a fortnight, how many apples in a barrel of grapes?

M; Please put these capital cities in order determined by their distance from the equator, closest first.
London, Rekyavik, Kathmandu, Tokyo, Addis Ababa, Prague, Brasilia, Paris, WashingtonD.C. Beijing. Bonus points for saying which is furthest from the North Pole.

N; Who wrote the 1995 novel, 'The Northern Lights'

O; What was The Rolling Stones first U.K. no 1 hit single? What was their first U.S.no 1 single?

P; Who were the four U.K. prime ministers in office during W.W.1. and W.W.2?

Q; Which 'Knight of the Realm' was the controller of B.B.C. 2 from 1965 - 1968?

R; Famous actor and all round attractive hunk George Clooney tried out for which U.S. baseball team? Played which character in 'South Park'? Was born on what date? And has what middle name, if any????

S; The following names are the forenames of four famous, or famous(ish) people all nicknamed 'Spike'.
Shelton Jackson; Lindley Armstrong; Terence Alan Patrick Sean; Henry Bertold.
What are their surnames?

T; Please put these U.S. presidents into chronological order.
George H.W. Bush; Grover Cleveland; Abe Lincoln; Andrew Jackson; Theo Roosevelt; Calvin Coolidge; Bill (cigar-box) Clinton; Franklin D.R. Roosevelt; James Monroe; Ulysses S. Grant.
For a bonus five points, which one had the most vice presidents serve under them.

U; What colour shirt am I currently wearing?

V; If you were to multiply together the number of legs which the following real creatures would usually have :- spider, aye-aye, human, scorpion, llama; and then divide it by the total number of heads from these mythical creatures :- cerberus, minataur, hippocamp, gorgon, sphinx, centaur; what number do you arrive at?

W; What time is it?

X; Who played King Arthur in the epic film, 'Monty Python and the Holy Grail'?

Y; The following are latin names for animals. What are their common or English names?
i) ursus americanus
ii) ornithorynchus anatinus
iii) sarcophillus harrisii
iv) ursus arctos
v) phodopus cambelli
vi) cavie porcellus
vii) lemur catta
viii) procyon lotor
ix) spirogale gracilis amphiala
x) meles meles

Z; You are on a large flat surface, like an airfield. (disused). You walk 10 metres to the south, then 10 metres to the east, then 10 metres to the north, then 9 metres to the east, 10 metres to the south west, 15 metres to the north, and finally 10.6 metres to the south west to the nearest metre, how many metres are you from where you started.

Good luck everybody, you're gonna need it. Remember NOT TO CHEAT cos it took me BLOODY AGES to write this all out and then type it and do the research(?) in the first place and it'll spoil EVERYBODY'S FUN if you do. The closing date is open, probably about a week or when I'm bored or can't mark any more.....cos I'm bored or it's all too much and threatening to ruin my kids x(christ)mas. Oh and one more thing. One of the above questions is for tie break purposes only. You don't know which one it is, but I do. So you'd better try to answer them all well, cos you may end up in a dead heat with somebody and then all your imaginary prizes will vanish in a puff of apathy.

23 comments:

lorenzothellama said...

Bloody Hell TR.

a) dreadful
b)$20
c)First lady in space
d) 1912, 1913
e)Elton John
f) O.J. Simpson
g) Rubber Soul
h)
1. Norman Wisdom
2. Stan Rubix
3. Norman Fishwick
4. Michael Winner
5. Jenny Knocker
6. Hammer
7. Greene Manne
8. John Wayne
9. Barbara Cartland
10. Karl Marx

I) Hippo, Cat, Squirrel, Camel, Llama
J) Vermont
K. Kent
L)
i. Colchester United
ii) Phil Collins
M) Addis Ababa, Brasilia, Kathmandu, Washington DC, Tokyo, Paris, Prague, Rekyavik.
Brasilia is furthest from the North Pole.
N)Ian Rankin
0) Satisfaction
ditto
P) Asquith, Lloyd George, Chamberlin, Churchill.
Q) Lord Winston
R) The Illinois Lumberjacks
Kenny
1.1.31
Lorenzo
S) Pole, Bean, Milligan, Miller.
T) Abe Lincoln, Calvin Coolidge, Andrew Jackson, Grover Cleveland, Ulysses Grant, James Monroe, Theo Roosevelt, Franklin Roosvelt, George Bush, Cigar box Clinton.
U) 676
W) Five to Ten
x) Graham Chapman
y)
Grizly Bear
herring gull
beaver
polar bear
fruit bat
pot bellied pig
lemur
stag beetle
spyrogyra
llama
z) Bang on target.

You will be able to tell by my answers I didn't cheat, but I think your blog is the best I have ever been on, I fell in love with your photo and I have a copy under my matress. I think you are the wittiest writer I have ever read. I always vote for you on wordimperfect, even when Magdalene is nominated at the same time. I have a good supply of brown envelopes. How much?
LtL xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

today's word is scurvey

lorenzothellama said...

Did I mention that llamas make loyal and faithfully companions?
L.

lorenzothellama said...

Just voted for you on wordimperfect even though you weren't nominated today.
L.

lorenzothellama said...

Am I winning?
L.

Magdalene said...

A. Terrible
B. Zloty (dunno really)
C. Gymnastics I should hope with a name like that.
D. Dunno
E. Elton John maybe.
F. Babe Ruth
G. Revolver, coz you've been listening to it lately.
H. How abysmally tedious:
iii. Steven Spielberg
vi Bruce Robinson
viii Robert Redford?
Dunno any of the others.
I. Erm... Scooby Doo, Shaggy, Delma, and 2 more people.
J. Vermont?
K. Kent
L. Bleedin' Charlton?
2. Can't I name the guitarist instead?
LSD. They're not apples they're talking heads.
M. You can fuck right off.
N. Philip Pulmann?
O. Uk. Little Red Rooster, US.Satisfaction
P. I only know Churchill and Chamberlain
Q. No idea
R. Egg and chips
S. Terence is Milligan
T. Pleeeeeeeeeze.
U. Orange with multicoloured food stains
V. 341.33
W. Time for some Puppy noises.
X. Michael Palin
Y. Git:
i. Grizzly Bear
iv. Polar Bear
v. Andy Warhol
vi. Guinea pig
Vii. Meerkat
viii. Ardvark
Z.
About 288,052 because that's where the on call psychiatric team have taken me for observation after being found wandering aimlessly around on a disused airfield, muttering to myself.

Please can I have the booby prize? Wait a minute... I AM the booby prize:-)

lorenzothellama said...

Am I beating Maalie?
L.

Martin Stickland said...

You are mad! you must have blisters on your finger blisters after typing this lot out but what a star you are making the effort to get our grey matter in to gear.

I will have a good nights sleep and rest the old noggin and have a go!.

Love your comments on my blog you daft old fool! (you do not mind me calling you old do you?)

good night!

Thesaurus Rex said...

Thanx 4 doing the quiz Lorro and Mags. So far you are the only ones as may have been predicted. Don't worry if you don't think there's been enough crawling. Still plenty of time yet.

Scriptor Senex said...

I started but after a few I realised I was either the wrong generation or thick or exhausted or all three. Sorry. My only consolation was that I could do Y - well almost...
Y; The following are latin names for animals. What are their common or English names?
i) ursus americanus Brown Bear
ii) ornithorynchus anatinus Duckbill Playpus
iii) sarcophillus harrisii Harris's Corpse-lover
iv) ursus arctos Polar Bear
v) phodopus cambelli Campbell's cat that takes pictures
vi) cavie porcellus Guinea Pig
vii) lemur catta Ring-tailed Lemur
viii) procyon lotor Raccoon
ix) spirogale gracilis amphiala Graceful circular jar-shaped wind
x) meles meles Badger

lorenzothellama said...

Can I change my mind about the Rolling Stones first British song? I think it might be You Don't Always Get What You Want and not Satisfaction. I still Satisfaction was the first US hit.

Have I ever told you how handsome you are, and what lovely hair?

Your's is my favourite blog, next to Martin's, Maalie's and Magdalene!

The Three Mmms.

Raelha said...

I'm still thinking, give me a day or so and I may remember who directed The Doors.

Thesaurus Rex said...

It's a llama's prerogative to change her mind. It is done, my quadruped friend.
I didn't even do wordimperfect, did I?
I can't say whether or not you are winning, but nobody is beating Maalie cos he's not playing yet. I consider it your sisterly duty to kick his butt into action, please. As for the rest of you, I suspect you're all having as many conversations about U.S. history and The Rolling Stones as you can without boring people senseless.
Keep going Raehla, but no hurry.

Metamatician said...

Ok Billy NoStars at the local Quiznos drive-thru, sorry I'm a couple o' sunrises late but here are the answers. I mean MY answers. Same thing.

A. Terrible. Wash that poor beast.

B. If this is a British fucking keyboard question then I'm hosed, because my big fat $ sign is above the #4 on my keyboard. But I'm going to guess your pound sign is about your 5 and that therefore your fancy "and" sign - & - is above 7, as it is on mine. Please consider credit if I got "the game" right. If not, shoot me in the middle testicle. Answer: "7"

C. That's an easy one. She was the Russian bird who was the first woman in space, I think. Either that or a ballet dancer. But I submit my first guess.

D. Damn dates. I could tell ya the whole story of the affair, but you want dates. I'm gonna proffer 1910 and 1914, respectively. I know it caused the US to enter the Great War, so '14 or '15 must be close.

E. Weird, I just saw an interview with him on Parkinson's recently. George Michael, I believe?

F. Major League Baseball (USA) is held by Barry Lamar Bonds, but WORLD record is held by Satohara Oh (not entirely sure of spelling) with 800+ of the Japanese professional leagues, which doesn't count in my mind because he got a lot of cheapies on lame pitchers in a tiny stadium. But I think in an effort to shame my American-ness you are trying to yank off my yankee trousers with this one, so I'll say "Oh". Who, coincidentally, was the manager of the Japanese team that recently won the inaugural World Baseball Classic in the TRUE home of baseball (a much more evolved and refined game than Rounders), the US of A.

G. Magical Mystery Tour. *yawn* These gonna get harder?

H. Ouch. I guess they are. Here are my attempts...

i. No idea.
ii. Stanley Kubrick
iii. Steven Spielberg
iv. Hitchcock? (huh huh, "cock")
v. With Val Kilmer and Meg Ryan? Um... shit... the conspiracy lover dude... JFK... Oliver Stone!
vi. Fuck's sake I JUST watched it, no idea who directly the bloody thing. Great flick though.
vii. Ridley Scott. Simple.
viii. Ooh, thougher. Um... I'm going to guess "no idea".
ix. Eric Seagull or something.
x. Gimme. Spike Jonze, director of many Bjork videos as well.

I. Fred, Velma, Daphne, Shaggy, and Scooby. Can I have my pot-laced scooby snack now? And another pint?

J. Damn Rex... you're hitting me where it hurts. My own country! I'm going to hazard a guess facilitated by elimination of the mottos I DO know and say "West Virginia."

K. Cornwall.

L1. Chelsea.

(notice I'm not being such a smart ass now)

L2. That would be Jimi Hendrix. If you were after the drummer for The Experience though... I think that would be Mitch Mitchell?? Song is by Jimi though and mentions a drummer, I that's wot you're on about.

LSD (nice, I knew you couldn't count from Aye to Zed properly). None, and I want my money back. That shit was cut or it was ketamine.

M. Good question! Wow....ok. Let's think a bitsy shall we my precious? Addis Ababa, Brasilia, Kathmandu, Beijing, Tokyo, Wasington DC, Paris, Prague, London, Reykjavik. If not then I'm damn close. You picked like 4 cities at almost exactly the same fuckin lattitude!! Oh, furthest from NORTH pole... would be Brasilia of course. Only one is Southern Hemisphere - I believe Ethiopia is just above the equator. NOT CHEATING EITHER. I was the kind of kid who always had a globe and owned the new World Almanac each year so I could see if the top 10 city ranking by populations had changed at all. Yes, the one who got picked last for footy. Except I didn't, because I ruled at sports too.

N. You mean The Golden Compass? You mean The Socerer's Stone? I hate it when good British titles get bastardised by the American repackaging, and then the movie, in this case due in a few weeks, gets the American title. Grrr. Philip Pullman of course. Great series.

O. UK: Paint It Black? US: (Can't Get No) Satisfaction?

P. Neville Chamberlain, Winston Churchill for WW2, no idea on the WWI guys.

Q. Come again? Don't know any of the BBC controllers, sorry, but I'll say David Attenborough to be funny because I believe he did host his shows on 2 around then. Doubt he was controller though.

R. Haven't a Clooney. HAHAHAHA. I know Tom Sellect tried out for the Detroit Tigers and Garth Brooks for the San Diego Padres... Clooney I'll say LA Dodgers. Played himself probably on South Park? Was born on Bob's Yer Uncle, 1964. Middle name is "I get a chubby for Matt Damon."

S. Spike Lee, Spike Yer Drink, Spike Jonze, Spike Thru My Heart.

T. James Monroe, Andrew Jackson, Abe Lincoln, US Grant, Grover "Carol" Cleveland (served twice nonconsecutively!), Teddy Roosevelt, Calvin Coolidge, FDR, Daddy Bush, William "inhaled BIG time" Clinton. Vice presidents I'll guess FDR since he served 4 terms.

U. Multicoloured.

V. 192.

W. That's a very relative question. At the moment Pacific Standard Time it is 3:05 PM. A better and always correct answer to your question would be to simply utter "Now".

X. Thanks for the gimme. Graham "I'm the only gay Python" Chapman. RIP to my favourite of the bunch.

Y. Oh bugger another multi-parter.
i. Black bear.
ii. Platypus. Or else some extinct monotreme or dinosaur. That's a very unusual genus.
iii. Scarab beetle.
iv. Polarity Bear. I mean polar.
v. Campbell's chicken noodle soup.
vi. Cheap caviar.
vii. Lemur.
viii. This kinda sounds familiar. I dunno... a chipmonk.
ix. Some kind of skunk? Spilogale I remember from zoology. Could be stupidly wrong though.
x. British druids on drugs at Stonehenge on the summer solstice. And you're a great guy, Rex, you really are.

Having bombed the penultimate question mightily, he tromps on to the Boss question, who has a staggering 420 Strength and over 1,000 hit points....

Z. 8.28m from the starting spot, or else right back exactly where you started, depending on whether you are Richard Dawkins or Douglas Adams. I used all my trig AND my common sense and both gave me different answers =|

Bloody great quiz Rexo. Looking forward to the results. Thanks (honestly) for all the effort you put into this!!! YES, I've inspired another blogger with my quizzes!!!!! Hear that God???? Gonna let me in now you great bearded wanker???

*shouts fade as he walks back to America*

Metamatician said...

Wicked hard quiz there in spots. I also soiled my new G-string when I started reading about prime ministers and BBC controllers, not to mention walking on a disused airfield which had that PF song "learning to fly" running through my head instead of using those neurons to solve the effing problem. Hope I was the last to submit? May we have the results IMMEDIATELY please??

Just kidding, good quiz kiddo. You really got the old cogs cranking there. I said COGS.

ByteDoc said...

A. He smells bad like a dog.

B. What?

c. Her singing.

D. 1912, 1911

E. Ringo.

F. Barry Bonds.

G. The who?

H. Hey, thats 10 questions, not fair.

I. ??

J. Virginia.

K. LOL

L. F.A.??

M.I'm too old for this, it makes me sick... er think.

N. ??

O.??

P.Winston, Winston,

Q You gotta be kidding.

R.Trivia.

S.Jones

T.
Old Abe L
Andy Jackson
Theo R
FDR
Clinton
Bush

Bonus FDR

U. None

V one.

W. Time to throw up.

X. Me

Y. You made those up.

Z. 5 metres ( locally spelled meters ).

I'm afraid i'm not the winnah on this one.

ByteDoc said...

At least I tried ... sorta.

empath said...

A. A dog's nose is it's alert button, so assuming it isn't smelling through it's ass and is stepping on his own crap without even knowing it, your dog smells like shit.
B. 3
C. Russian tea cookies
D. Lusitania built in 1941, sank 1942 - if I get within a decade is that ok sweety?
E. I can almost imagine Elton John would do that. He always had a crush on Lennon.
F. Barry Bonds!!
G. The White Album
H. Spielberg (at this point I'm sure you'll be posting my answers for all to see!)
I. pleading ignorance
J. Vermont
K. Sussex
L1. Babe Ruth had a Fat Ass, so I'll guess him.
L2. Alright...gasbag. Upside down 6 is 9, and upside down drummer is nothing intelligible, I'll go with Buddy Rich.
LSD. Wow, how many apples? I can't even see them - the grapes all melted all over them! What guys?
M. Addis Ababa, Brazilia, WA DC, Tokyo, Kathmandu, Prague, Paris, Beijing, London, Rekyavik. Furthest - uh Addis Ababa if my first answer was right (i love geography and i have a globe! i could cheat - no I can't!!)
N. James Patterson
O. Like a Rolling Stone, Like a Rolling Stone
P. My History knowledge is embarrassing!! Was Churchill a PM? That's how bad I am.
Q. John Cleese
R. Dodgers, don't know South Park, born in year 1955, hmm, 1 January
Middle name: Dude
S. Murphy
T. Another worst subject: Lincoln, Monroe, Grant, Cleveland, Jackson, Teddy, Coolidge, FDR, Bush, Clinton. VP's - FDR
U. A brown hair-shirt.
V. 192
W. Time to take your rectal temp.
X. I just bought this DVD for Justin so we could watch it! Damn, I'll say John Cleese again.
Y. Grizzly Bear,Eagle,Rabbit,Polar Bear, Playpus, Porcupine, Lemur, Amoebae, Frog, Honey Bee
Z. 10.6
Please give me credit for even finishing. LOL, fun though.

Scriptor Senex said...

A. Like a soggy carpet with a whiff of corruption around the muzzle.

B. 9

C. Gymnast, athlete, - but she did her gymnastics in a weightless atmosphere being a cosmonaut (if you're Russian ) or astronaut (if you're British or American)

D. 1913 1915 (I remember it well!)

E. Elton John ( I would have guessed Liberace but he wasn't quite British!)

F. What is baseball?

G. White Album

H. Can I ask my son? If not I'd guess Stephen Spielberg for all of them - one must surely be right!

Richard being a film whizz and doing Media Studies came up with
i) Martin Scorcese
ii) Stanley Kubrick
iii) Steven Spielberg
iv) John Ford?
v) Oliver Stone
vi) ...
vii) James Cameron
ix) Steve Martin ?
x) Andy Kaufman
(See, I knew one of them would be Spielberg!)

I. Don't know - I suspect you have to watch TV to know the answer but Dr Who used the Tardis!

J. Virginia - the Blue Ridge Mountains are part of the Green Mountains which are part of that big bit on the map below Canada.

K. I thought this was Evesham but since it has to be a county I'll go for Worcestershire.

L1. If I knew wehere you came from I would guess your nearest team. (The cue is in the cough?) In the absence of such vital information I'll guess it i someone who has since faded into comparative obscurity like Portsmouth, Burnley, the wonderful Preston North End or the incredibly obscure
Everton. All I know for certain is it wasn't Liverpool - one of the few years we won no trophy!

L2. THE drummer was Ginger Baker of the Cream so I'll guess him! (Seriously - I know this was Jimi

Hendrix - shouldn't this be the LSD question - but I don't know who his drummer was...)

LSD. My brain went pear-shaped on this banana-skin until I realised the answer was Yesterday's Strawberry (Or, for older readers, "I think the answer lies in the soil")

M. Now this one is like hard work - I thought my geography was quite good until I saw this question. I have guessed on the basis of what I think the climate is like - Addis Ababa, Brasilia, Kathmandu, Paris, Tokyo, London, Beijing, Washington D.C, Prague, Rekyavik. Rekyavik is furthest from the North Pole if you go round the long way but otherwise it's Brasilia.

N. Philip Pullman. And if anyone knows who borrowed my brother's copy and failed to return it will they please send the answer on a post card to http://rotowhenua.blogspot.com/

O. Damn - I only bought albums. How about Satisfaction and either Satisfaction (again) or Hey You,
Getoffa My Cloud which brings back memories of bottles of brown ale and singing very loudly on the way home from my friend's house. Nowadays it's only Bloody Yobos who sing in the street late at night. In those days it was cool chaps like me!

P. P is for pause while I have a break - all this thinking is thirsty work...
World War One - Herbert Asquith; David Lloyd George.
World War Two - Nev "They'll never attack anyone in earnest" Chamberlain; Winston ("We'll smash the bastards to bits" Churchill)

Q. Reith of the Reith lectures?

R. Damn - why did I let Richard go back to his den? Don't know? Don't know? Don't know? Don't know?

S. Terence Alan Patrick Sean Milligan;
Shelton Jackson ? ; Lindley Armstrong ? ; Henry Bertold ?.

T. Abe Lincoln; Andrew Jackson; Ulysses S. Grant; Grover Cleveland; Calvin Coolidge; Theo Roosevelt; James Monroe; Franklin D.R. Roosevelt; Bill (cigar-box) Clinton; George H.W. Bush; The most vice presidents serve under FDR?

U; What colour shirt am I currently wearing? Yellow with pink stripes - how could you? I hope you haven't been out of doors in that!

V. 8 x 4 x 2 x 8 x 4 = 2048
3 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 = 8
2048 divided by 8 = 256

W. What time is it? Bed-time.

X. Who played King Arthur in the epic film, 'Monty Python and the Holy Grail'? Assuming it was one of the 'Big Four' - John Cleese (or Eric Idle, or Graham Chapman, or Michael Pain) but then again it could have been ''someone completely different...'

Y; The following are latin names for animals. What are their common or English names?
i) ursus americanus Brown Bear
ii) ornithorynchus anatinus Duckbill Playpus
iii) sarcophillus harrisii Harris's Corpse-lover
iv) ursus arctos Polar Bear
v) phodopus cambelli Campbell's cat that takes pictures
vi) cavie porcellus Guinea Pig
vii) lemur catta Ring-tailed Lemur
viii) procyon lotor Raccoon
ix) spirogale gracilis amphiala Graceful circular jar-shaped wind
x) meles meles Badger

Z. I'm sure there is some super scientific mathematical formula for getting the right answer. Instead I doodled on a piece of paper and reckon you would end up about half the length of the battery plus the width of a pencil or say 10 metres!

If I win can I choose my prize? If so, I'll have a return ticket for the Titanic's next trip or the 2008 European Champions League Cup but I'll let Steven Gerrard collect the latter on my behalf.

Magdalene said...

I'm still sulking.

Metamatician said...

Any idea when the results might be ready O Lord Magistrate Rex Almighty of the Highest?

Raelha said...

Here it is, sorry it took so long and made everyone frustrated. Lots of stabs in the dark - if only you'd asked me about Spanish history and tennis.


A: Awful, and that’s why I have cats.
B: 9
C: She was the first woman in space.
D: Built:1902 Sunk:1915
E: For some reason Gary Barlow springs to mind. Please let me assure you that this is an exceedingly rare occurrence, which is as much a relief for myself as it is for anyone else.
F: Ugh, where are my tennis questions? Babe Ruth, I don’t know anyone else.
G: Abbey Road
H: i) Martin Scorsese
ii) Stanley Kubrik
iii) Stephen Spielberg
iv) Hitchcock
v) It’s no good, I give in.
vi)Bruce Robinson
vii) Ridley Scott
viii) I think I saw this years and years ago as a young lass, I have no chance of remembering.
ix) Roman Polanski (?!?)
x) Spike Jonze

I: Fred, Selma, Daphne, Scooby and Shaggy.
J: Urm, Montana?
K: Kent, although Cheshire likes to think it is.
L1: I repeat, where are my tennis questions!? Hmm, no-one won, it was cancelled because the king had died. (She says trying to sound authoritative.)
L2: Ooh, sounds so familiar but I don’t know why – very irritating.
LSD: No apples in a barrel of grapes, unless you’ve emptied out the grapes and used the barrel for cider making, which is what they’d do here.
M: Brasilia, Beijing, Addis Ababa, Kathmandu, Tokyo, Prague, Washington, Paris, London, Reykjavik. Furthest from the North Pole is Brasilia.
N: Philip Pullman. Looking forward to the film/s.
O: Jumpin’ Jack Flash, for both answers.
P: Clement Atlee, Lloyd George, Churchill and er, ah, bollocks, ooh, Chamberlain.
Q: David Attenbrough
R: More bloody baseball?! Didn’t he play someone’s gay dog? Born on 6th June 1966 and he has no need of a middle name, everyone knows who he is, a middle name would just spoil it. More baseball? Grrr, do I know the name of any baseball teams (racks brain)? No. Erm. Do the Yankees play baseball?
S: No1 – Lee, No2 - Johnson, No 3 - Stamp, No 4 – Brecht
T: Grant, Cleveland, Monroe, Lincoln, , Jackson, Coolidge, T Roosevelt, FDR Roosevelt, Clinton, Bush.
U: I can’t quite see from this distance, but it suits you wonderfully.
V: Bah, 42.
W: Time for another beer.
X: Graham Chapman
Y: i) Brown bear ‘grizzly’
ii) vulture
iii)vampire bat
iv) Polar Bear
v) manx cat
vi) Wild Boar
vii)flying squirrel
viii) hedgehog
ix) jellyfish
x) duck-billed platypus

Z: Five metres and in need of a beer, a big one, with maybe a Camberwell Carrot thrown in for good measure.

Thesaurus Rex said...

OK folks, the counting is nearly over. Martin is the only regular visitor who has yet to submit an attempt for the title. I shall prompt him with a sharp stick.
Thanx 2 the rest of you, the results will be out soon. I'll just put up the answers here and tell you what points they were worth and all that jazz. I've enjoyed being teach and feel I may have pitched this quiz harder than I at first thought. I would have done just about ok but I wouldn't have won if I hadn't set it in the first place(??)

Ju's little sister said...

Am I too late?

A: Ohhh, what a good question to start with! I think he smells like a dog.

B: What? Wot, what? Oh! Oh what? What was the question again? It's hard cos I don't have the pound symbol on my computer, we use dollars down under, wot! What? 7, what!

C: Being incredibly flexible, and strong, and jumpy, what?! Not for being a dessert like Pavlova.

D: Wow! This is a question for clever people. I can tell because it is a clever guy who wrote it. I am going to have to go with 'black.'

E: I'm not sure - but it must have sold cheap with all that nonsense written all over it.

F: Why did he keep running home? Had he run out of drugs, or was he still running on them?

G: The round one.

H: i) Ozzie Osborne
ii) Stanley Cubric
iii) Stephen Spielburg
iv) Pavlova
v) Oliver Costello
vi) Lorenzo's Auntie Mabel
vii) Riddley Scott and Thesaurus Rex
viii)George Lucas
ix) T-Rex, does this even exist? Trickster.
x) Francis Ford Copolla

I: Scooby Dooby Doo, Shaggy, Thelma, Daphne, Fred, and sometimes Thesaurus Rex (when they were stuck for ideas)

J: Nevada

K: Liverpool, wot?

L1: Um, Thesaurus Rex and the Wrap-stars Extraodinaire?

L2: The drummer from Led Zepplin only had one arm.

LSD: It depends, of course, on how much wine has been drunk.

M: Brasilia, Abbobo, Beijing, Tokyo, London, Kathmandu, Paris, Prague, Rekyavik. Brasilia is the furthest from the Noth Pole.

N: Paul Neuman (sp?)

O: Painted Multicolour Drugged Rainbow of Love. For both.

P: Santa Claus, Count Dracula, Sherlock Holmes, T-Rex. (the last two might have been maybe Neville Chamberlain and Winston Churchill???)

Q: Sir Thesaurus Rex. That is, if the Round Table can be considered a realm.

R: The Purple Sox, himself, 25 December, Vivien

S: Their surnames are added identifiers initiated back in the day to help determine which family 'Rob-son-of-Rob-son-of-Bob-son-of-Fred' belonged to thus easing the taxation process for the government of the time. And subsequent governments too, I imagine.

T: Forward or backward? You didn't specify. Can't answer for fear of failure. Since I got the rest of them right I couldn't possibly damage my rep. The truth is they were all presidents at the same time - it only seemed different due to gravity distorting the time continuum.

U: Now I think this is a tricky trickster's trick question wot? Do you mean the shirt you were wearing when you wrote this test, or the shirt you are wearing when marking it? What if you are writing or marking over several days? But since you are a man of style I think you will have a lovely dark blue shirt on. With Optimus Prime screened onto the front.

V: If one counts only the Gorgon's own head - 1.5, but if one wishes to include the heads of the snakes on the gorgon's head then the fraction will be a fraction of the answer and thus fractionally smaller - depending on the number of snakes currently on the head, in that fraction of time.

W: Quiz Time!!!

X: Brian of Nazareth (before the Crucifiction)

Y: i) Grizzly Bear
ii) Flamingo
iii) Flutter-By. (also known by those who aren't children as a butter-fly)
iv) Polar Bear
v) Platypus
vi) Hedgehog
vii) Lemur
viii) black mamba
ix) salamander
x) dodo

Z: A=(10.cos 45)=7.07; B=(15-A)=7.928; C=(19-A)=11.9; D=(10.6.cos 45)=7.50; E=(C-D)=4.43; F=(B-D)=0.43; G=sqrt(E^2 = F^2)=4.45 simplified
Therefore, the distance from starting point is equal to 4.45m or 4m (1 s.f.) If further details are required - I'll post my working on my blog.