Tuesday, 29 January 2008

BIRDWATCHING IN THE CITY

WARNING; DO NOT SCROLL DOWN IF YOU HAVE JUST EATEN.

Not that long ago, my wonderful children and I were off to the nearest train station. They were off to catch a train to Wiltshire to see one of their grandparents. I don't go to Wiltshire unless under cover of darkness and preferably in a fast moving vehicle. I still don't trust the coppers there. Prone to the annual Hippie Cull they were. And did you know it's illegal not to eat a pork pie every 60 minutes in Wiltshire. They still have the stocks and angry crowds of ill mannered wurzels turn up in their thousands to hurl soggy, mouldy vegetables at anybody who doesn't have pig in aspic stuck between their teeth and traces of greasy pastry on their smock.

However, on the way to the station, there was a bird. This bird was right in front of us, bang smack in the middle of the pavement if you please. And it was very still. It's one of those sorts of birds which you periodically see stationary, because it's stone cold dead. Not just a bit dead mind you, absolutely horror show, intestines out sort of dead.

There are many cats in our area, and parked cars often afford them an excellent sculking or hiding place from which to pounce upon their prey. On this occasion, the unsuspecting bird, probably humming a crisp tune to itself, was stalked and done in.

So feast your mince on it's last attempt at modelling for the camera, immortalised as long as this hard drive and blog keep a-rollin' on. I hope it didn't suffer.

38 comments:

lorenzothellama said...

Oh poor bird. Please get rid of this picture before Maalie comes back from Spain.

Thesaurus Rex said...

Why? I'm in awe of Maalie's achievements in the world of birding, but I expect he's seen, and eaten worse states than this. This bird in turn was probably quite 'happy' til it suffered what I hope was a quick death.

Raelha said...

Poor thing. Maybe some sort of warning is on order before you scroll down. A right shock it was to my just-got-out-of-bed self.

lorenzothellama said...

Maalie tends to blame cats for all bird deaths, and it doesn't fare well for Scaredy.

Scaredy Cat said...

Yes, get rid of that picture at once. It is sending me into impure thoughts and ecstasy. If I had killed it, I would have played with it more before eating the juicy bits and discarding the rest.
Scaredy Cat.

Thesaurus Rex said...

Scaredy; Clearly, something, probably one of your distant relatives, has tried to eat part of the intestines, but has found them unpalatable, hence the small pussy pavement pizza top right.
Yum! Anyway, it's not my fault that some creatures kill other creatures. I don't have an unhealthy interest in it, but when presented with such a spectacular photo oportunity, I just couldn't resist.
Raehla; Sorry, will put warnings on everything. Please leave one hour between rise and shine time and viewing my blog for the good of your health, mental and physical.

Magdalene said...

BLECH!

Metamatician said...

Mags, there's your answer to a good source of iron.

lorenzothellama said...

tu et winning sur le blog wordimperfect pour ton stupide explanatione de binnicle.

Thesaurus Rex said...

Aaaah! Bien! Et mon public avait raison.

Metamatician said...

Peut-etre paye. Le mot-femme est une juge etrange.

verification mot: dorqkr

Raelha said...

Thank you for the warning. A little too late for me, but I hope that I sacrificed my breakfast yesterday for the good of those to come.

Rob Hopcott said...

In the entrails I see war, pestilence, plague, women taking over the world and aliens landing.

Just another sleepy Thursday after tennis really then ...

Metamatician said...

If by "alien" you're referring to Rex or yourself, Rob, then you've gone 5-for-5. Good job.

Sexy Rexy: return Mageth's power lead to her at once. Doctor's orders.

Thesaurus Rex said...

Rob; I see women hurling up their breakfasts, cats enraged by envy.
Meta; Sorry about that. I offered to send, but we don't trust the mail to get it to Devon in time for w/e. Anyhow, Mags can't do i'net stuff on her p.c. here. My goof, just threw it in to prove I'm not perfect.

Viking Warrior said...

Och aye bonny lad, beautiful picture. That yon birdie wouldest be treat indeed for breaking fast.

Val Halla playeth left back for Oslo Wanderers yon ignorant git.

To be sure thou will be runneth through by my blade for showeth thou yon ignorance.

lorenzothellama said...

Oh for goodness sake!

lorenzothellama said...

I have just suggested to Viking Warrior that you and he have a competition for the bloodiest picture on your blog.
At the moment, I think you win by a short head, (or wing).

Thesaurus Rex said...

Bring on the GORE, and I don't mean Al!

vword csuxm

Anonymous said...

Mummy!?!

Maalie said...

Predation is all part of God's wondrous plan. As you say, I have seen worse and have had to kill (please note that I don't use euphemisms like 'cull' or 'euthanise') a number over the years to end suffering.

I'm trying to work out what species it is. At first I thought a pigeon, but maybe a thrush? It's hard to judge the scale. Maybe next time you could put an object (e.g. a matchbox or, better still, a ruler) alongside the carcass so that we may appreciate the scale. Just a suggestion.

Thesaurus Rex said...

Maalie; Hola! Que hay? I thought it was a jackdaw at first, but the bill is too weak and slightly orange. It had dark grey legs and but the tell tale grey hood was not apparent. It did look a bit small for that as well and my best guess otherwise was blackbird as it was blackbird sized and all. Anyway, welcome back.

Metamatician said...

Jackdaws love my big sphinx of quartz.

(all 26 letters of the alphabet used.)

I think it would sound better to say "sphincter of quartz," but then that leaves out the X. Oh well.

Thesaurus Rex said...

The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog. Except the last fox I saw was not quick enough to jump over the speeding car by the looks of things.

Metamatician said...

The big black bird bumped into the blazing Beretta, bouncing badly.

Magdalene said...

Blech again. I think it would be very nice not to have to look at death and cat sick for much longer. Write me a nice post about extreme decorating.

And Meta only alliterated with 'B's because that's what bum begins with.

Mmm... Rex's bum...

lorenzothellama said...

Rex's bum? Maybe we could have a post on it, complete with photos.

I see Maalie the scientist is back with a vengence. Fancy having to put a matchbox next to a dead and mangled object just to get the scale.

For heaven's sake.

Metamatician said...

I can provide the Rex photos, for a price.

lorenzothellama said...

How much?

Ju's little sister said...

Meh. Not as bad as a two-week old dead stag, to be dragged to the 'offal pit' ;-)

Actually that was kinda cool, in a morbid way, Rexy. Though thanks to you and Raelha for the warnings. Good show.

Metamatician said...

Two llama-hair sweaters, large please.

Thesaurus Rex said...

Now we all know what happened when a certain backside last 'appeared' on a certain blogsite, don't we. Meta; does your camera have a suitable wide lens?
J.L.S. watcha kid, long time no read-ya-comment.
All; Am wrapped up in extreme decorating and stuff. A post will follow when I can be arsed, but Mags nicked my picture idea so I'll just have to go out and run something over.

Ju's little sister said...

'Hey' yerrself!

Yeah, I've been a bit busy. Back for a while now anyway. Too many good books to read. I've ploughed through about 9 in the last 12 or so days.

Raelha said...

Extreme decorating!? Like bunjee jumping off the roof with paint roller in hand?

Rob Hopcott said...

Mmmm! Talking about books, someone I know got booked the other day...

Mind you, he's the sort of person who never knowingly drove under the speed limit.

Could blogs be defined like the genres that categorize books?

If so, thinking about the picture of the bird (and possibly the nether region shot), is this a horror blog?

Or is it just 'simply awesome', as my son would say.

Thesaurus Rex said...

JLS; Yes, those Mr. Men books are so engaging aren't they.

Reahla;
Lo siento muchisimo
Fa la la la lah la la la laah

Rob; No nether regions are likely to 'end up' here. Unless I'm as bored as the last time I did it.

Magdalene said...

Do not display your butt again or I will have to smack it VERY hard next time I see you.

Lorenzo, extreme decorating in this case means T.R's current obssession with stripping the paint off everything in sight. He doesn't know when to stop, and now the entire contents of his house are pine coloured and becoming smaller and smaller everyday. His little coffee table was a huge dining table only last week.

Thesaurus Rex said...

Yes, but I have a superb collection of furniture in my doll's house. It was my house until I shrank it in the wash.