Wednesday, 23 January 2008

BEHOLD, THE TRANSLAT-O-CAM

Well, fancy that. I've just had the most amazing thing happen.
"What's that?" I hear you all cry. (not cry as in tearful and upset, I meant cry like a town crier, only ssh, cos you'll wake the neighbours)
I was returning from the local weeny supermarket, when I looked up into the night sky. And guess what I saw. You'll never believe me. I mean, I wouldn't believe anybody that told me this. Well, I may believe some people, because some people are just very good at explaining things in a way which means virtually everybody believes them. (There's a song about that by a band called "The Wizards of Twiddley" I rather like it.) Some folk can just go on saying stuff, using all the best and most accurate terminology and descriptive powers, and still nobody would think that they were telling the truth. If they went on too long, most people would just get a bit bored.

When bored, all sorts of occupations will skip into the mind. They will send minute electrical charges merrily across the synapses in order to get one to do something.

Earlier, when I was bored, I cut all the words in my dictionary out. It took me bloody ages. I've been telling people I've been decorating, but that, my friends, has been a cunning cover story. Once they were all chopped like a wordy spag bol, I climbed up the nearest mountain (just next door as it happens) and threw them into the breeze. Just scattered them randomly. I had considered throwing them one by one, but I'm not an idiot, that would've taken me far too long and I really must get on with the decorating. (DOH!)

Anyhow, having thrown them, I hurriedly sprinted down the mountain to see where the wind had taken them and what might be written.

As if Casting the Runes, these words appeared before my extremely eyes. That's even more than my very eyes, which is quite a bit of eyes, but extremely eyes is noticeably more. If it had been in front of my totally eyes, or even even my wow man, far out dude eyes, I'm not sure if I'd have believed them. I can handle extremely eyes because , though that's, well, extreme, it's not as extreme as wow man far out dude eyes. I mean, what could be?
The words, to return to the point, were laid out as plain as the nose on my face. Actually, the nose on my face isn't terribly plain. I don't mean that in a 'oh, my nose is so gorgeous' sort of way, or the 'I wish my nose wasn't so unusual' sort of way. No, I mean it in the plain to see sort of way, like most people mean. Really, do you all think I'm so strange that I can't use normal expressions such as 'plain as the nose on my face'?

Hey, why don't I post a piccy of the nose on my face? Obviously, I couldn't post a piccy of the nose not on my face, cos it stays on my face on a permanent basis. If my nose was off my face, how would I smell? Like a dog in a German stand up comedy routine probably. But that's beside the point. Not beside the point of my nose. My nose isn't really pointy, it's kind of rounded, a fact with which you will probably concur when you see the photo.
This is me a couple of years ago, when I looked like a girl. If you look closely, you can see my nose. For those who are easily confused, my nose is on the left of my face as we see it here. It's not on the left of my face when you see it from the front. Then it's in the middle, even since the World Title bout, which I only narrowly lost to another bloke who looked like a girl. He was called Daphne, which is odd for a Tiddley Winks Champion.
Now I know what you're thinking. Well, not everything obviously. I'd have to be some kind of deity for that, which means that sooner or later I'd have to ban everybody from commenting on this blogsite. What you are thinking may be this.



Yes, that. But that's a daft thing to think, even when your on holiday in a swimsuit. I know this isn't you, but it's just a photo to illustrate a person thinking. I know, there are two people here, but only one of them would be thinking this thought. The other one is just a figment of the thinking one's imagination. Actually, that was a bit of a fib, there are two here really. You can tell that because cameras can't really pick up people's thoughts. It would be handy if they could, because I would just take a photo of myself in the mirror every time I lost concentration, and I'd be back on the right thread quite soon.

The original piccy of me up there was taken on the same beach as those two. I think they were both Russian, but it's hard to tell from their accents in a photo. Photos can't pick up accents or dialects either, or translate other languages to English. It would be good if they could, because then I could take a photo of people from eg. Russia and look at it to see exactly what they were saying to me, or even about me. They'd probably be saying;

"Why, English bloke, are taking you a the photos and us?" (I know, I know. It's a cheap camera, O.K.)

Of course, my Russian is non-existent from my mouth as well as to my ears, so I'd have to take a picture of me thinking or saying something and show it to them. Since it takes up to 7 days for my photos to get back from the developers, I expect they'd have forgotten what they'd asked me, and the conversation would go rather limp. That's probably the only reason the Translat-o-cam was never invented. Or the Thought-a-matic.

Anyway, since Daphne is a cheat, I'm going to appeal against the result. The least I feel I should get is a rematch.

However, the wind was fairly strong, so once I'd got to the bottom of the mountain, most of the short, and hence, lighter words had blown away. The best I could do to make sense of them all was ask a passer-by. As there weren't any passer's by, I ran around the corner to find one. Eventually I did, and he kindly followed me back to where the words were, despite the atypical nature of my request.

Upon asking him about the scattering words, he looked at me rather oddly. I asked him why he was looking at me rather oddly. Was it an unusual request to ask a total stranger to look at the ground to see if the chopped up words from my dictionary would spell out some sort of message? Most folk would comply wouldn't they, without a funny look? He said no, not at all. It's just that it's Wednesday which means he has to fulfill his New Year resolution to randomly present total strangers with a bizarre countenance. I looked at him strangely. He asked me if that was that my New Year resolution too? I said no, that sort of coincidence would be utterly ridiculous.

After careful consideration, he came to the conclusion that the only coherent message the words spelt out was "Go to the shops and buy a beer"

WWHOAH! That was really weird. Before I'd got bored, I had been wondering if I should just pop up to the shops and buy a beer. Sometimes the Universe is just irrefutably synchronized, isn't it?

That wasn't the weird thing that happened to me though. No, the weird thing was on the way back from the shops, I distinctly made out the shape of a spaceship traversing the Northern part of the sky. Oh, wait a minute. It's still there! Oh No, I'm wrong. It's just an eyelash.

Silly me, I've probably wasted quite a bit of your time, haven't I?

75 comments:

Metamatician said...

Just looked at the big version of the pic... woo nelly, what a stud! You don't need to be hiding behind any shrubberies, my friend!

No wonder LTL melts...

I'll comment on the text later. I'm basically a child who looks at the pictures first before reading.

Ju's little sister said...

Martin, how did you get into T-Rex's blog?

lorenzothellama said...

JLS, I was going to ask him if he has been spending too much time with Martin lately. They do live near each other after all.

Like Meta, I enlarged the picture of the wondrous nose to the left of the picture. I had to go and have a cold shower. I thrashed myself with birch twigs. I fastened one of those little thingies the mad monk in the Da Vinci Code wore, I slapped myself firmly on the face. I listened to Matt Monroe.

I am now myself again. Please don't torment me with more photos. My quivering and quaking has just about stopped, but as your photo now adorns my computer desktop, I'm going to have to go through all that frigging rigmarole everytime I switch on.

Yours in ecstasy.

Lorenzo.

Maalie said...

Yes, one receives all sorts of persuasive message to get more beer.

I was advised once that as I passed a pub I should incantate "get thee behind me Satan". Well, I did and the runcible fellow did just that, got right behind me and pushed me in.

Viking Warrior said...

Maalie, thy runcibleness knoweth no bounds.

Metamatician said...

Maalie, lol.

Rex, technical note: The second picture with the speech bubble does not enlarge. If you uploaded a photo that was very large to begin with, that will happen sometimes. Try cropping it down to the ideal size you want it to be, maybe lose some of the scenery to get the words to be bigger and more readabler, then re-upload? I dunno, but I'd like to see what they're on about and right now they are just speaking in pixels.

Heh, I said "enlarge".

Maalie said...

Metamatician, yes, I tried to enlarge it too. I was curious to discover whether the sheila in the picture was actually wearing anything. I mean, we need to know, don't we? It could be ungodly.

Metamatician said...

We have an OBLIGATION to know, I agree.

lorenzothellama said...

Yes Rex, crop those bloody Sheilas out and put a photo of you in, instead.

Magdalene said...

Such a poseur.

Unfortunately, Rex really does talk like this most of the time. It's why I struggle with mental illness.
On a more positive note, getting such a tremendous amount of words out all in one go, may reduce his verbosity enough for me to enjoy a more peaceful weekend.

Huh. Who am I kidding? :-/

Thesaurus Rex said...

JLS; Yes, well spotted. Apologies Martin for plagiarising your style, though I've always preferred the term 'heavily influenced by'
Meta; tried to do the photo cropping thing but my p.c. doesn't have the photo organising program cos it's older than all the other computers put together. "What make is it?" I hear you ask. "Babbage my friend!" comes the reply.
Lorro; Try riding horses more often. (Suppose it's my round, then.)
Maalie; Boom Boom. Did you see my question about blackcaps?
Vikky W; Isn't it runcibiliosity?

Thesaurus Rex said...

Mags; Who knows how chatty I'll be. Still. if your ear gets chewed off, I do know a good E.N.T. specialist who could take a close look at it.

Maalie said...

Ah, yes, Blackcaps, sorry. They are traditionally a summer migrant, like the swallow and cuckoo. But in recent decades there have been more and more records of them wintering over in Britain (Global warming? Who knows).

To be a pair, one (male) should have the eponymous black cap; and the other (axiomatically the female) should have a brown cap. Is this the case, please?

Raelha said...

Hurray, no more listening to songs about bloody Carol.

That's a very poor effort to beer ratio - or did you buy more than one? (Stupid question?) I'd try Maalie's method next time.

Ju's little sister said...

Maalie, I think you'll find that blackcaps are actually the New Zealand Cricket Team.

Silly isn't it?

Maalie said...

T. Rex, well done over on Halfmom's blog. Just a follow up or two. You said:

>Those guys can't hear me whatever I say and however I say it. Attempting to discuss any point would have been fruitless.

Axiomatic, my dear fellow, axiomatic. You should realise they have invested their whole lifestyle and all their hopes for eternity on a single book which cannot be independently verified. It's is a matter of not DARING to listen, lest their investment be found valueless.

It's called brainwashing.

Of course the same can happen to scientists. The history of science is littered with those who realise on their deathbeds that their life's work had been undermined by new evidence (I feel rather sorry for poor old Lamarck; at the time his theory seemed just as credible as Darwin's). However, unlike the bible, science is subject to peer-review, repetition and re-examination of the evidence.

Moreover, the Christians absolutely love to be "hated and reviled" - they feel it brings them closer to heaven. Did you see this post on Bluecollar? Within the post is this remark:
Therefore the contributors here at Bluecollar have reason to rejoice and be glad over the comments we had this past Thursday and Friday.
.

REJOICE, I say unto you! The more we attempt to portray our own experience and evidence of the world, the more they rejoice at rejecting it!

Maalie said...

> thy runcibleness knoweth no bounds. (LtL)

>Isn't it runcibiliosity? (T.Rex).

You are both wrong. The noun is runcibilitude.

Metamatician said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Metamatician said...

Hehe, sorry, just saw the "Babbage" remark above. You know your stuff quite well old man. I've got the next model up - The Turing Typeomatic. I'm saving my ha'pennies for a Von Neumann XT.

There are free picture cropping proggies available by the way like this one here:
JPEGCrops

I use it when I don't want to fire up Photoshop just for a simple crop and it works great. It's tiny and free and should even work with vacuum-tube model PCs such as yours.

The rest of you can go back to knitting socks or talking Calvinism or whatever it was you were doing.

v-letters: fnoldsx

Thesaurus Rex said...

Raehla; Happy and deranged enough to oblige, my dear. (puts on Wilfred Hyde-White impersonation. Effort to beer ratio financially enforced, only one of normal 500ml size. All part of my 'drink yourself slim' diet

JLS; Blimey. do you think these tiny birds are actually the N.Z. cricket team. I can't imagine their wings would be strong enough to hurl a ball 3 or 4 times heavier than they are(t.b.c. by Maalie, how much does a blackcap weigh?)

Maalie; Yes, the caps are black and brown respectively. They are hanging around together in a flock of two. One appears to 'look out' whilst the other feeds. I've seen blackbird pairs do this, though during late autumn, they seem to do it in slightly larger groups as well. Perhaps too much infighting in breeding and nesting seasons?

One thing for sure, they need to be on their wits properly thanx to the high probability that one of about ten cats may get them. My shed roof is a focal point for nearly all local mogs, the bush the birds tend to eat stuff off overhangs it.

There's a blog post in all this somewhere, I'm sure.

I too believe that warmer winters are likely to change the birds migratory habits. But the weird thing is, how do they know it's not going to be cold here in January if they leave in October? Or do they have a quick holiday in S. Europe and then come back due to rumours. Can they tell by other means? I'm definately confused.

Re; Bluecollar. Yes, I think brainwashing (or brianwashing as Mags prefers) is a reasonable desciption. I was being polite on Susan's site as she is obviously a far more wise, balanced and rational human being.

I was fairly polite on Bluecollar, I think they didn't like my assumption that there must be plenty of 'sins' they are still guilty of if a mere layperson such as myself can spot them at a glance. A Supreme Omniescent God, such as they believe in, would have no problem spotting ALL of their 'sins'. A natural progression of that argument is that they will burn in Hell according to their own beliefs.

lorenzothellama said...

Warmer winters? Global warming? The Calvinists don't believe in global warming.
Lorenzo.
Today's word: buxsom

Martin Stickland said...

I will have some of whatever you are smoking dear chap!


Oh no, Oh no dear sir! far from it that you are plagiarising (what does that mean please?) my style, I mean you are 'one sandwich short of a pic nic' mad I tell ye, just mad and do you know what?

Suddenly I feel SANE!!! I am cured!! you are madder then me, I rest me case me lord, you have lost it!

Tee Hee!! I loved this post of yours, so so funny, Waaaaaaggghhh!!! Not fair! I want to be the funny one! WWaaaah!!!! Mummy!

Mad I tell ye, just mad!

Raelha said...

T-Rex, surely it would depend on migratory routes, if they flew over here around the end of January/early February in an effort to get back to the UK after their winter hols down south they'd get lost in snowstorms in the Cantabrian mountains. A longer route to Barcelona, across the Med to the French riviera and up through France would make much more sense.

Good idea Martin, I think I shall have some of it before I come back here again.

Thesaurus Rex said...

I expect migratory routes vary as to final likely destinations and food sources on the way and weather and stuff. Where is that Maalie chap when you need him. Maybe a quick visit to Birdforum would help, or just another i'net search. So many daft questions, so little time. Different creature, but apprently, when monarch butterflies migrate to and from N and S America, whole kaleidoscopes of them settle in the very same trees that other butterflies did the year before. A kind of genetic memory?
To all interested in Pic of Russian Women. There were bikinis. Get a look at their thighs. They could crush a man's head at a whim. What a way to go!
(v'word supercalifragilisticexpialidocious)

lorenzothellama said...

When I was running long distances competitively, I could crack walnuts between my thighs. Never thought of doing it to a man's head though. Off to do some training!
Lorenzo.

Raelha said...

I once trained at the same swimming club as an Olympic swimmer (Barcelona 2000). If I've ever been able to crack nuts it would've been then, I just never tried, nor mens' heads either. Lorenzo, I'm wondering what made you try with the walnuts. A lost nutcracker?

lorenzothellama said...

Raelha, it makes men think twice about messing with you if they know you can crack nuts between your thighs.
LtL

todays word: gooliyz

Maalie said...

T. Rex, this is getting disgusting. I think some banning is called for.

Thesaurus Rex said...

Lorro; I can't believe you have thought of crushing a man's head between your thighs. A woman of your maturity and experience(?)
Raelha; ditto exept maturity and perhps some experiences.
T.Rex; For leud and lascivious thoughts and writings upon the subject of womens' thighs, YOU ARE BANNED!
Maalie and Meta; For making me think I could get away with it and encouraging my leud and lascivious behavoir, you are gonna have to run my blog for eternity when I'm called to duty licking Satan's putrid toenails clean. Mind you, there are worse jobs.

Raelha said...

T-rex, and it's something else to put on your cv.

Metamatician said...

Lorenzo and Raelha: If I ever had a pruprient thought about either of you, I know take it back as the risk of my head or other bit of my anatomy being crushed like a walnut far outweigh any pleasure that might bring. Why do women in general have such strong friggin' legs anyways? Their upper bodies are useless, then they have this Schwarzeneggerian prowess in their walking sticks... I've seen enough nature shows (hears the voice of Sir David or Simon Morris explaining it to me in my head)... D'ya think it's a defense against runcible males?

Rex, JLS, and maalie: Are these African blackcaps we're talking about here, or European blackcaps?

Metamatician said...

Ooops, make that top word "prurient", know = now, bit = bits. Far too many typos lately... It's the lack of disposable thumbs, I think. Haven't reached that stage here in America yet.

Maalie said...

Axiomatically, European.

lorenzothellama said...

Women evolved strong thighs because they were always running away from the male of the species. We only get caught when we want to.
Lorenzo.

Magdalene said...

If anybody round here is likely to have a two dimensional head, then it's probably going to be me. Rex has legs like stumpy oak trees.

And Meta dear, no jokes about acorns please, just in case you were thinking about it.

Thesaurus Rex said...

Haycorns? Disposable thumbs? African or European? I dunno! AAAArrrgh!

Raelha said...

I get strong legs trying to cycle up my hill, and failing. They´d be much stronger if I made an effort more often and could get past the first incline.

Meta, You mean America is still behind on the disposbale thumbs?! Thought you would´ve caught up by now.

Please explain why my upper body is useless. Are you including my head in this? Because I am rather fond of my brain, which does come in handy every now and again. Although admittedly it´s currently feeling rather mushy after six hours of non-stop teaching.

v.word = mankme

Magdalene said...

Mankme? Such filth.

Thesaurus Rex said...

The word verification system is BANNED!!!

lorenzothellama said...

Yes, what is all this about women having crap upper bodies. I've never yet seen a man turn away from a nice pair of kajungers.
L.

Maalie said...

>We only get caught when we want to

Reminds me of Essex Girl playing hide and seek with the lads. "If you can find me I'll let you do x, y, and z. And if you can't, I'll be in the shed".

(x, y and z is up to your imagination).

Raelha, please don't tell C. I said that.

Magdalene said...

X,Y and Z are useless to Essex girls because they can generally only get as far as C. I'm allowed to say that because I was an Essex girl for a few years of my dazzling career. We didn't have a shed though, so I had to make do with the workbench in my Dad's garage. I've still got the scars from some of those loose screws.

Thesaurus Rex said...

The less said here about the aroma of creosote, the better.

Metamatician said...

Easy on the Essex girls... I've a good friend from Essex and she is NOT blonde nor fond of shopping for tartudinous clothing, in fact she is quite pleasantly quirky and irrervent, and thus automatically funny. And has average to above average intelligence, in my estimation, and can even said to be a bit shy at times. Then again, perhaps she was not actually BORN there. Or else it's all and act to get me in the shed for some Ex Wye Zed. Oh dear...

To all the women I offended, I didn't mean to imply that your upper bodies were worthless in all senses, merely when it comes to muscular strength. You're proportioned all wrong (or else we are). Your considerable strength is located lower on your body and your arms, unless you are some kind of body builder, just sort of have trouble holding themselves up. Or that's what you say when it's time to hang the the pictures and drapes in the new digs, anyway.

Your heads and the minds they generate as though by magic, however, are complex and wonderful, as much as they gives us males the runs some days. But this is not your shortcoming, it's probably ours. And finally to answer Lorro, the funbags front and centre ARE a nice touch, especially when you're on public transportation and see a girl in a tight shirt on a cold day trying to do a little peanut smuggling.

How'm I doing so far Rex?

And isn't creosote that hodgepodge language spoken in the bayous around Louisiana by black people with French heritage?

lorenzothellama said...

'trouble hold themselves up'.
Really Meta, buy yourself a Wonderbra and you'll have no trouble.

As for Essex girls, I was brought up in Colchester and I can certainly get as far as 'eff'.

So there.

Lorenzo.

Raelha said...

Maalie, what´s it worth?! I can think of some stories of C´s that he probably won´t want H to hear when she´s older - none about x,y, or z though.

Meta, so now you´re trying to say we haven´t got a spine?

My Nan was from Essex, my favourite person in the whole world. She could get all the way to z and make a mean midnight feast.

Metamatician said...

O boy, I knew I was in trouble. I was trying to say women were proportioned differently than men, not inferiorly. Is that a crime??

Thesaurus Rex said...

Just keep diggin' boy, your already up to your neck. As for any help offered, I've gone all Pomtius Pilate on yo ass.

lorenzothellama said...

Hey Raelha, I wonder if I know your Nan?

Lorenzo.

Viking Warrior said...

PoNtious Pilate not PoMtious Pilate. Tosser.

Metamatician said...

More like "pompous ass pirate."

Thanks a lot, Rex old bean.

Thesaurus Rex said...

M, N, not much difference unless you're presenting kids TV.

Halfmom, AKA, Susan said...

"DOH!!"?????

I don't understand!

Raelha said...

Meta, just seeing how far you can get yourself with the odd nudge from myself.

Lorenzo, no. She died when I was 11 - cancer. I still have the odd cry every now and again. I've never known anyone kinder or more selfless.

lorenzothellama said...

Where is Essex did she live Raelha?
L.

Raelha said...

Lorenzo, I can´t remembrwhere she was born. I have it written down somewhere. She lived in London when she was young - during WWII, and was a great fan of your Aunt Mabel for the work she did then - and then moved up to Macclesfield later in life.

Maalie said...

>Easy on the Essex girls...

I go along with that. My first few sheilas were Essex girls and I still think rather fondly of some of them.

Viking Warrior said...

Aunt Mabel? Arse!

Metamatician said...

You know, with an image editing program, you could pop those little Russian bikinis right off, and maybe zoom in a bit too. I'm in no way suggesting you do this, merely stating that it would be possible.

Completely unrelated: How long till melons come into season?

Thesaurus Rex said...

Meta, my old china; With a photo editing program I could shove my/your/anybody's middle finger up anybody's proverbial. So, if you wanna date with Anna K, over-rated tennis legend, photoshop is your matchmaker. Does the state of Cali have laws against topless sunbathing? Anyhow, I was in a room with 5 entirely naked women the other day AND got paid for it. Howd'ya like them apples?

Thesaurus Rex said...

Or melons, si tu prefere, monsieur.

Metamatician said...

Were they over or under 75 years of age?

And I'll take Sharapova, thank you.

Raelha said...

I grow melons here.

Sharapova?! In that case can I have Marat Safin?

lorenzothellama said...

Do you mean were the melons over 75 years of age?

Rob Hopcott said...

Reference Babbage, Turin engines and out of date equipment from one with wrinkles but ageless vitality.

What's the secret?

Mr Linux keeps my equipment revitalised and perfectly tuned for greatest user pleasure.

Martin Stickland said...

Any chance I could borrow a cup of milk for my coco? Oh, and some sugar, and coco, and a spoon would help.

Thanks love!

Thesaurus Rex said...

Food parcel on it's way Marty babes, tho carrier pigeons are unusually messy with stuff like milk. They're also notorious for swapsies with magpies with shiny things like spoons, they simply adore sugar, and have been known to snort cocoa. The pigeon I sent has no sense of direction and suicidal tendencies, so the chances of this actually getting there are slim.
Meta; none were over my age and some were half my age.
Lorro; don't be silly.
Rob; welcome! return to fire at will.

Metamatician said...

Martin: Would that be a runcible spoon?
Raelha: Better not comment.
Lorenzo: The melons, the naked woman Rex was imagining in his mind. Same thing.
Rob: That's where you came from! Just saw your comment on my blog and replied. Nice to meet you. Just reading a book about Godel and Turing by Janna Levin. I've read ones about each of them before but this is a bit of a different angle. Also read a great book on Babbage and his computing engines, if I think of the titles of all these I will post.

Cheers all.

lorenzothellama said...

I note that Rob keeps his equipment revitalised with Linux. What do you keep your equipment revitalised with Rexy? Aloe Vera Juice?

Thesaurus Rex said...

Meta; Would I lie to you?

Lorro; The love of a good woman.

lorenzothellama said...

What do you want with the love of a good woman? What you need is the love of a bad woman.
L.

Rob Hopcott said...

What's all this about love anyway? Just give me the woman and leave the rest to Linux :-)

Ooh, owe, ouch ...I really hate being hit around then head with a wet dish cloth.

Why don't women like men of Linux thinking evil thoughts?

Metamatician said...

The word Linux has that scent of technology that women revile. No matter much you scrub, you can't get it off you.

Or get it off, you.

You WOULD think the bad women to which Lorenzo refers would get a bit of a the horn out of it, but they seem maybe less afraid of its power than simply jealous.

More fieldwork required. 1x10^2 experiences of love with and without Linux (latter acting as a control) to process precise answer.

Please press any key to continue.

Rob Hopcott said...

With Spring coming or at least peeking nervously around the corner, men's thoughts turn to love and how it can be won.

Time to upgrade and get some more RAM!

Metamatician said...

I'm fully upgraded and have plenty of RAM, if you know what I mean, ladies.